Over the weekend while camping I had a dream.

I believe my dreams are my subconscious working things out. I dreamt that I found out Grandma was abducted by two people with swords all those years ago. (Fifty-three years, two months and 6 days ago to be exact.) That I now knew where to find her.

My adult self was so excited, overwhelmed, relieved, and nervous that I could barely contain myself. (The child was excited as well). I imagined her holding me and me holding her tightly and for a very, very long time as we both wept and rejoiced.

As I readied myself to be on my way to her location, another part of me “woke” me up.

I was reminded of the truth, of the memory of her dead in the casket.

I was half awake then and just wept and marveled over how my mid tried to take me to her.

I am overeating already. Feels earlier than usual.

The dream about Grandma is significant as we approach the birthday abuse.

I felt comforted and safe with Grandma. Even though bad things happened, she was strong, I was connected to her emotionally. She was my source of comfort…